Effective Communication: Resolving Conflict

What is effective communication? It is quite normal to have conflict with others. Finally, each person thinks and acts in a unique way, and it is inevitable that at some point shock to someone in a particular subject. The problem is that there are no conflicts, but knowing how to handle them when they happen. Poor conflict management can make what was a simple misunderstanding becomes a real problem. Sometimes we engage in the idea that there is absolute truth, and also we are who we know and show the other how bad it is. Does this sound familiar? Well, this is one of the main obstacles to effective communication, because when two people think this way, all it does is have two people planted in his position, trying to show another his mistake. We'll take a few communication tips that you put into practice the next time you come into conflict with your partner, your boss or a colleague, which will help you get a much more effective communication and productive: 1. Listen. This is a very obvious, but we do not usually perform.

Listening does not mean let the other speak without interruption, hoping to finish by then I tell you what is wrong. Listening is really put myself in the shoes of another person. Understand how you feel and why they feel. Understand that what I have done or said is affecting how. No matter if I think is right or not. That's not the point. Remember that it is not there is a winner, but to resolve the conflict, for which you need to really understand what happens to the other person. Although you do not agree, if the other person feel that way, that's the truth. Listen. 2. Solve the problem at hand. Do not bring twenty past examples that resemble the present problem. They will not be able to solve all and only going to make that anger increases. Try to focus on what's happening in the present moment and just talk about it. 3. Talk about what you feel, do not criticize the other person. Do not judge other with epithets like "you're wrong?" Provided you're wrong?, "You're so grumpy?, Etc.. It speaks of what you feel.

For example: "When you scream like that I feel afraid?," I do not feel comfortable with the way you do that?, Etc.. Take responsibility for your feelings, rather than attack the other.

4. Do not react to criticism. If someone criticizes you, hold your peace. This sounds easier than it actually is. These do not feel vulnerable to the comments of the other person. Understand that the other is altered and therefore will try to defend themselves. It's not easy not to take such criticism staff in the middle of a conflict. In fact you need a solid self-esteem that allows you to be present in the midst of conflict, even listen to criticism without it affecting you. Do not criticize back as this will become an escalating criticism and attacks. Although critics bother you, try to listen to others. Why do you say? What is bothering you? probably realize that in an emotional state and therefore altered the criticizing is a way of defending themselves. Do not take it personally, remember that the priority is to resolve the conflict, not enlarge it. 5. Admit your mistakes. Once you've heard what the other person has to say, recognizes that part that you belong. In the vast majority of conflicts, both parties bear some responsibility.

Sometimes we want to become victims and putting the other person as the absolute cause of the conflict, but if we are objective and really learn to listen, you realize what your part in the conflict. Once you identify yourself, acknowledge the other person. This will make her feel that if you listen, and instead of keep attacking, you're probably more willing to discuss and recognize their own mistakes too. 6. Confirm that you have understood. This point is important. It is telling the other person what you have understood that bothers you, just to verify whether you understood well. Seems a bit obvious and repetitive, but you'll be amazed to know the number of misunderstandings that occur, even when apparently already talked. Saying something as simple as: "What I understand is ....?, bothering you and then ask:" Is it right? Or is there something that I misunderstood or failed to understand me? 7. Poses possible solutions. Once you understand what really happens to the other, and that you are clear about what bothers you, you can begin to propose possible solutions to help both sides to be more comfortable with the issue of conflict.

This is to propose and ask for feedback to the other person and invite them to also propose options. This is not to impose a solution that you think is best. Remember that we must listen and take into account other. Never assume you know what the other wants. Better ask him. 8. Stay away if you can not handle it. If you ever feel you're losing your cool and you're winning the anger, frustration or desire to criticize the other, better stay away from the situation until you calm down. Tell the other person calmly something like: "At this point I think I'm changing and I can not continue this discussion. I need to get away for a while and when I calm down I wish to return to find a solution that benefits both?. If the other person insists that keep talking, explaining again emphasizing your interest in solving the problem the best way possible, saying something like, "I am very interested to solve this and I am very interested to hear you and understand you. So need to get away for a moment to calm and continue to find a solution that works for us both?.

Remember that the priority is to find a solution acceptable to both parties. That is not a power struggle or someone wins the argument. It's about understanding the person you are having the conflict. To achieve a very effective communication and you can keep in a state of calm in the midst of criticism and negative comments from the other person, we recommend lot to do deep work to strengthen your self-esteem. This will help you not to take the comments personally, you will actually get in each other's shoes, you acknowledge your mistakes without fear of it, and especially to know that you can take control of you in the midst of a situation of conflict. If you want more information on how to strengthen your self-esteem, we invite you to visit: http://www.viam.com.mx/autoayuda/curso-de-autoestima.htm